Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
