I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
