I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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