Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
