She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
