i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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