I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize