I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
