using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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