im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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