Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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