i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
