you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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