this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
