Christians are straight up FREAKS
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
