I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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