there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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