I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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