HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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