your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
