I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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