Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
