I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
