I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
