guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
