In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
