I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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