marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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