Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
