Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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