Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
