I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
