Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm at about main and main street
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
