Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
