I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize