i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
