Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
