I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
