This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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