We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
