I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
