id be glad to
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
