why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
