I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
