Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
