I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
