My room smells like vodka and shame
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
