Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize