Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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