K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
