shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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