he puts the penis in happiness.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
