My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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