idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
