You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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