My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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