it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
