but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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