i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
