Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
