You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
