He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Pants are for mortals
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
