Got a toothbrush?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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