I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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