I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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