ADVERTISEMENT

• (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

  Fav 103 1663 3164

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed

  Fav 28 21890 1632

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids

  Fav 19 7269 1261

  share tweet
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

  Fav 14 5758 1186

  share tweet
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

  Fav 11 2574 1016

  share tweet
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

  Fav 4 1277 916

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.

  Fav 4 1388 1121

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.

  Fav 7 700 1660

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.

  Fav 0 682 735

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.

  Fav 4 443 964

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"

  Fav 2 564 286

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird

  Fav 2 250 242

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Relax

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.

  Fav 0 37 29

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...

  Fav 0 24 12

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...

  Fav 0 57 14

  share tweet
  

Randomize