I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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